Almost there...

Its been a challenging two months, but at last we’re in the final stretches of our kitchen remodel. Construction tasks that remain include the application of the toe kick around the bottom of the base cabinets, the attachment of a particularly tricky pantry door, the reattachment of floor molding, and the eventual installation of our oven hood once it bothers to arrive on our porch.

Thanks to a much enjoyed surprise visit from my mom we were able to complete the painting of the kitchen walls as well as make great progress toward completing some much needed cleaning, painting, and repair work in the guest bathroom. Without her generosity and hard work in the kitchen, and the guest bathroom we surely would not have been prepared for our Christmas visitors and evening at Northview dinner party guests.

In addition, thanks to some much appreciated generosity, and cooperative hard work by the Hupps and Hares, Jonathan, his dad and his uncle managed to install our new kitchen floor in about a day and a half. Due to the cement floors reluctance to clean up as well as we were hoping we decided to go with an IKEA flooring option. Not only does it look great, but its kinder on the legs and feet than cement, and provides a perfect finishing touch for our kitchen.

With a few touch ups I’m hoping to have a fully completed kitchen remodel by the end of the first day of the new year (sans oven hood). Farewell painters tape on windows and door frames, hasta la vista plastic sheets lining countertops and floors, hello completed Caetano-Hupp kitchen!

Billboard Brilliance

A play on a classy slogan + an excellent use of ninja-esque germs flying towards an innocent victim, genius. For the love of pandemic’s, heed the sign people!

7 Weeks Later

Following a full day of scrubbing and waxing our kitchen’s cement floor, and enjoying a tasty Chinese food dinner, at 9:45 PM we started assembling our kitchen cabinets. For the sake of marital bliss we each started constructing one cabinet a piece. The first box took the longest because although we are both fluent in the sparse language that is IKEA, it usually takes about one build to get warmed up.

Sans breaks it took us 7 hours to construct three 36” base cabinets, two 15” base cabinets, one 30” base cabinet and six 24” horizontal wall cabinets. If you did your math right that means we were up until 4:45. This might not have been too rough if we could sleep in; however, with our amazing contractor (AKA superhero) arriving at 7AM to help us with our cabinet installation, this so called "sleeping in" was not a viable option.

After about two hours of sleep and feeling like reheated leftovers, we managed to peel ourselves out of bed and start our day with Tim. I’d like to take a second here and give a shout out to Tim. Tim, who owns his own contracting company called TJK Remodeling, is the very man, with the assistance of his sons, who built our sweet pocket door. Not only was Tim upbeat, positive and willing to teach us every step of the process but he provided his expertise, supplies and hard work free of charge. We are thankful beyond words for his time and effort this past Saturday. Honestly, if you are in AZ and ever need remodeling work, Tim is the guy to call!

While Jonathan and Tim installed the cabinets I worked on constructing the drawers for the various units as well as the gigantotron pantry unit. By 3ish they had the entire kitchen mounted and looking fabulous! We are still working on getting the handles on doors and drawers as well as mounting the doors on both floor and wall units. Once we have all of these items in place I'll finally get to unpack all of my precious kitchen items, some of which have not seen the light of day since before our wedding, back in May 2008.

As of Monday our days of living out of a cooler and purchasing bags of ice are over. Our refrigerator has arrived and is as cute as a button! On Wednesday our stove and dishwasher will arrive, and then, to top it all off (no pun intended) Saturday we’ll have our countertop and sink installed. After nearly 7 weeks of eating out for nearly every meal and having a kitchen that consisted of 4 walls and a floor, a completed kitchen is a dream come true.

Sneeze rule 101

Open mouth sneezing is only acceptable in an outdoor space with no one around, like your backyard, or a wide open meadow miles away from civilization. Last time I checked office cubicles do not fit this standard and therefore should not be used as an area appropriate for an open mouth, germ spreading, snot and spit propelling, sneeze. For the love of wellness, have some courtesy and cover your stinkin mouth!

Inappropriate

I woke up this morning to NPR informing me it was 38 degrees in Phoenix. I'm pretty sure I didn't move to Arizona to experience 38 degrees unless I was driving to Flagstaff to go skiing. Very inappropriate indeed.

Max and Maggie

Last weekend we had the pleasure of house/dog sitting. Not only did we enjoy the comfort of a heated home, cable television and a kitchen to cook in, but we got to hang out with some great canines. Max and Maggie are terrific. I don't think I've ever been as entertained when walking dogs as when I walked these two. On the leash they're like a pair of considerate sled dogs. They walk side by side, at an even pace with just the slightest bit of tension on the leash and respond to the gentlest guide for right or left.



Mr. Max tends to walk like he is on a mission, with his ears back and his nose to the wind. He's having fun but fun with attitude. On the other hand, or should I say leash, Maggie while keeping up with Max's pace is a little more laid back. Her leash always tends to have a little more slack and her ears flop about and blow in the occasional wind.

Even after carrying out their doggie business these two dogs maintain the utmost civility. There is no kicking of grass or dirt, or at times a little more than just earth, or yanking of the leash as they take off in satisfaction. Instead, both Max and Maggie are content to wait out your considerate clean up and disposal.


Don't get me wrong, I love our cats, but I can't say their on the leash behavior is half as enjoyable as that of Mr. Max and Ms. Maggie.

The Stink of Success

I wont lie and say the smell of drying plaster is heavenly, but its results are darn near close.

Our dry wall guy has been hard at work since December 1st and his dedication and skill is really starting to show. As of yesterday the beast that was our blue paint was laid to rest. Finally we have smooth, white walls!! The house is brighter, and as strange as it sounds, is looking a lot more like ours, instead of just something we have to deal with. Below are a few before and after pictures.

Here are some pictures of the Living Room: Before and After (but still not done)

(strangely enough the "After" picture above makes the room look Alice-in-Wonderland small...)

Our plan is to finish the floors in the living room and kitchen on Thurs/Fri , then install the kitchen cabinets on Sunday. On Monday we'll receive 1/2 of our kitchen appliances, the remainder of which will be delivered on Wed. The thought of having a useable kitchen by Thursday almost brings tears to my eyes.

Below are a few kitchen series pictures: Before and After (but still not done)

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This project has been a wicked cocktail of hard work, short tempers, creative genius, patience and exploration. As far as the kitchen and living room are concerned, the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter. (for now at least)

Eventual Laundry Room

Check out the sweet pocket door. One of these days there will actually be a washer/dryer set up hidden behind this sneaky little door.

Hooray for visitors!

Yes, it’s a little delayed, but such is life.

A few weeks back we had our first official out-of-state visitor stay at our house. Tyler was in Tucson for a work event and found time to come up to Phoenix to hang out with us. Not only did Tyler experience our sneaky cats, who have to be everywhere they’re not allowed, but he assisted in our renovation by trimming some tree branches in the back yard, and redistributing some dirt and rocks to cover the freshly dug plumbing trench in the front yard. Tyler took it upon himself to up the authenticity of his home repair experience by acquiring a slight injury thanks to the slightly unwieldy hand saw. A band aid worthy injury at that.

To enhance Tyler's short lived desert experience, we drove over to Piestewa Peak for a short hike before he departed for the Golden State. We enjoyed having company other than our felines and encourage others to visit. Hopefully, by next year we’ll actually have a working guest bathroom as well as a real bed to sleep on.

And remember, with every visit comes a free appearance on Huppdates! Just look how happy they are!!

Next Project

Old main panel

New Awesome Breaker Box

Now that our electrical work has been completed and we have more than triple the amount of power available to us than we used to, we've moved onto our next project, the closet flip. Why on earth would you flip a closet you ask?

Due to the layout of our house our laundry options were a little limited. We could either have a washer on one side of the kitchen, and a dryer on the other, or pay way too much money to move gas and water lines into the existing closet. Strangely enough, it was cheaper to flip the closets than to re-route all of the necessary pipes.

The flip consists of this: What is now a closet in the hall will become a flat wall, and the space to the right of the old closet doors, which is currently a wall, will become a closet complete with a sneaky pocket door. The 3rd bedroom, which is behind this wall will have basically the same procedure. What is now the closet will become a wall, which will serve as the back to the new closet, and what was wall will become a closet door for the 3rd bedroom.

Here are some mid-construction pictures.

Looking from the living room down the hall. Space on right used to be a wall, space on left used to be a closet.

Looking from the back of the house forward. The empty closet on left is the old one, which will now have a door in the room instead of the hallway, and the wall on the right is the new wall for the new laundry closet.

Washer dryer hookup in the new closet.

So far, it looks terrific. The only holdup now is that our pocket door frame has yet to arrive as expected. Its putting a bit of a delay on our construction, but to no fault of our awesome contractor.

Once the project is finished the house will have a designated laundry area that had never existed. What's that little house, you're trying to improve our investment already? Thanks buddy.

PS. Below is a picture of our beautified mesquite tree.

Greeting Cards by Egotrip

I'm proud to say in recent years I've participated in running events. My furthest has been 10 miles and my goal is to make that 13 in 2010. A majority, if not all, of the events I've attended include professional photographers scattered about the course to capture you for better or for worse. Some find my "appreciation" of these race photos entertaining, but I'm willing to guess no one would find them an acceptable option for a Christmas card. Why is it that race photo companies think my friends and family want to see Merry Christmas accompanied by a sweaty, struggling runner surrounded by other sweaty tired runners? Honestly people. Poor marketing decision.

Silly Quaker

While deciding whether or not to eat my oatmeal I noticed a question and answer segment typed on the package . “Does Quaker Oatmeal eaten uncooked provide the same benefits as when its eaten cooked?” What the heck kind of a question is this? I’d like to know who goes around opening instant oatmeal packets and tossing them back like a bag of M&Ms.

I thought about granola bars and considered perhaps this is what they mean by “uncooked oats”, but I wasn’t eating a granola bar, I was considering eating instant oatmeal. Last time I checked there were cooking instructions on the instant package, hence, not intended for raw consumption.

I’m sure the anticipation is killing you, so the answer to the question is “Yes”. For all those out there eating oatmeal out of the packet or tube sans any cooking, be reassured that you’re helping your health; however, unless you’re eating in a closet where no one sees you, you’re certainly not helping your social image. I'm not judging or anything, but honestly, raw oats?

Mesquite

We bought our house knowing we had 6 trees in the backyard. Two of which are way dead, one is a bit too close to the house for comfort, and the largest of the 6 is a massive mesquite tree that appeared to be growing at an unnatural 60 degree angle from the ground. Needless to say the mesquite tree was, no pun intended, our largest concern.

At some point this massive tree had fallen, or been knocked over and was resting on the power line for who knows how long. The massive roots that stick out of the ground look like a hand diving into the sand, seeking a buried treasure below. Out of concern of our slanted tree, its exposed roots and our future home we had an arborist stop by for a review of the situation. His professional opinion was that it would have to be removed. I wasn’t the biggest fan of his “professional opinion”.

Here is a picture of the tree. It took up about a quarter of the back yard and created a secret cove with its plethora of dead branches that had made their way to the ground but were still somehow intertwined with the live branches on the tree.

This Friday I returned home from work to discover Jonathan had been quite busy. Our tree was now rid of a majority of its dead undergrowth and was back to its former glory. Needless to say our backyard looked like it had lost some sort of tree battle and was now covered by massive tree branches, as seen below. (darn that one dead tree for being in the way of my photo!)




After a little over than two days of solid work on the tree, its really coming around. Despite its crazy growth pattern its quite strong, as proven when our “230” pound electrician lifted himself off the ground by hanging off of its trunk without any protest from the tree. Two trips to the dump later we are still hip deep in branches in our backyard. However, on a positive note, our tree is looking much healthier, we discovered a citrus tree somehow surviving sans sun beneath all of the mesquite’s over growth and we now have a ton of mesquite wood for future grilling.

In very small ways our little house has been steadily paying us back for its purchase. It started out with loose change during the cleaning process, and now has progressed to wood for grilling, and perhaps next year it will supply us with fresh citrus. Keep up the hard work little house.

Updates to Huppdates

New look, same Hupptastic content. Thanks for reading!

Finally here

If you glance to the left of this text you'll see a whole new Huppdates slide show. That's right, you may now witness the glory of buying an "As is" house that went into foreclosure and had been vacant since February. Some of you may find yourselves having to push your jaw closed because its fallen open in awe, and not the good awe. No worries, its a natural reaction. A bonus to keep in mind... what you are seeing is what the sellers considered "cleaned". From what neighbors tell us it used to be way worse. Yech!

In a little over a weeks time we've removed a ton of nastiness from the house and are making solid progress on putting the house back together, exactly the way we want it. Sooner rather than later I'll start loading up before-and-after pictures as rooms get completed. Stay tuned, and stay classy.

The first weekend in our home was spent more outside of it, than in. We started the weekend bright and early Saturday with a mildly successful yard sale, the profits of which paid for our meals for the entire weekend. When the stream of yard sale trollers came to a slow we loaded the truck and headed to one of two Phoenix "Transfer Stations". We managed to visit both stations during the weekend and both were equally impressive. (Below are a few pics from our travels to and from the Transfer Stations: sweet retro sign, sharp church and odd building)

I'm no dump novice but these transfer stations proved to be a whole new refuse experience. On approaching both sites I noticed, despite being about a foot from the gate, I hadn't smelled the garbage. Not until you're inside the actual transfer station is there an odor, and even then its quite manageable. After driving through the initial gates and weaving about an impressive mini highway system we arrived at the actual transfer station building. Now, just because its a transfer station doesn't mean it has to be ugly or bland, no, no, Phoenix does it right. These lovely structures are complete with extremely high ceilings, tons of clearly numbered bays and even windows along the roof line. Its not often that I'm impressed with with what my tax dollars pay for but as for the transfer stations, hats off to you City of Phoenix.

In addition to our dump trips we met with a contracted IKEA kitchen designer who helped us plan out our kitchen layout as well as a general contractor who not only provided great ideas and insight on our many projects, but also contact information for plumbers and drywall repairmen who will help us do our home remodel right. Hooray for doing things up to code. We also made time to swing by a few of our favorite "retro" shops and came across an awesome cat. His name is Puchinni (sp) and he is an Odd Eyed Oriental with a purr that would put a classic mustang to shame.

On a sentimental note, throughout the cleanup and demo of our home we've discovered random personal items of past residents. Random change, stickers all over the place, and a chain of plastic phallic beads, have been among our treasures, but the best of all was found on Sunday when we further broke down the kitchen cabinets for disposal. Pink wedding napkins. I'm not sure if "Dawn and Ron" were residents or friends of our home, but their very 80's napkins declare they were married on July 1, 1989. Here's wishing you many happy years Dawn and Ron, that is if you're still married...

Freaky Friday

After a night of Sydney jumping on my head while trying to get to the window over our bed I woke up with the Golden Girl's theme song in my head. Who wakes up with that random song? Sure its pleasant, but honestly, its a show about 70+ year old women. Not necessarily the way I want to start my day. Perhaps the snowbirds arrival is starting to affect me subconsciously.

Then as I drove to work and listened to the Fort Hood story on NPR I started crying. Yes, its a tragic story, but the burst of tears was quite unexpected. It got so bad that I had to turn off the story before I started balling.

Its been an odd start to a day that I sure hope improves with time.

Tragic Fortunes

"Emotions can be sweet and sour, so can your meal." -Real original

"Be careful! Bees with honey in their mouth have stings with their tail" - what I think this confused english is supposed to mean is that I should keep my eye out for backstabbers. Awesome.

What would life be without fortune cookies?

Kitchen Demo

Sunday 11/1/09

After picking up our bed frame and returning the trailer that we had expected to return 12 hours ago we got home and started kitchen demolition. I’d say the total cabinet demo and stove removal took about 4.5 hours. After the unsuccessful removal of a few of the laminate tiles in the kitchen we rented a laminate ripper upper machine (not-so-official name) from Home Depot and finished removing the gross floor from the kitchen and the laminate from the 3rd bedroom.

For those concerned with the kitties, they’re doing well. Toby takes this kind of life transition a little harder than Sydney, but is doing ok. Since we were planning on keeping them in one room until after the kitchen was completely cleared and cleaned we set them up in our bedroom. We let them explore the house for a little bit, but Toby didn’t want any of it. He preferred to stay in the room and hang out in his carrier until either Jonathan or I entered the room to reassure him that everything was ok. Sydney on the other hand is all about exploring her new place. My guess is that it will take Toby close to a week to start to get comfortable. Eventually we will let them out into our backyard, but not for at least a month or more. I’d like for them to figure out this is their home for good before letting them out into the big bad world.

Halloween does not make for a good moving day

Saturday 10/31/09 (Note to self: Halloween is not a good night to be towing a trailer and moving into a residential area at night.

8 AM: Pick up a few more supplies at Home Depot and pick up our UHaul trailer.
After our first load to our new house the plumber arrived. He was there to fix the water heater, and install the toilet and new sink in the master. At first he attempted to tell us the entire house needed to be re-piped, which was later recanted after taking a better look at the copper pipes. First thing that’s gone right.

While unpacking trip 3, we hear some not so friendly words from the plumber and learn that the on/off valve for our water has snapped off, on the city side. Our water was stuck in the off position and now the city was going to have to replace the valve before we’ll have running water. The thought of a baby wipe “shower” before work on Monday wasn’t too comforting. The city water emergency line told me they had one emergency crew in all of Phoenix and of course they were currently on a job Although we were next in line, it was still estimated that we wouldn’t see help for another couple of hours. The initial call was made at 2:00.

Trip 4 we make together (our plumber was still working at the house), but after unloading my singlehanded trip 5 we decide to wait it out together. We use our time wisely and work on the house and hand out Halloween candy. The highlight of the night was a killer bunny. Awesome!!. Sometime after 8:00 the emergency crew arrives with two huge trucks, the larger of the two towing a gigantic tractor. We learn that they had just be dealing with a main break. Sure I suppose that could have taken a little longer than the usual emergency call. Within about 15 minutes they were able to fix the problem and again we were back to civilization with our running water. Hooray!!! We made it back to the apartment for our last load and to clean, and of course we don’t have the proper tool to take apart the bed. Our bed frame enjoyed one last night in the apartment.

Keys Please

Friday 10/30/09
7:00 we got up, made our way to Lowes to purchase a new toilet and waited patiently for an expected call around 10:00 informing us that we could pick up our keys. All the forms were signed and ready to go and all they just needed to be entered into the county registry. 10:00 rolled by without a call. Then the usual hustle ensued.. Long story short we had to sign three forms, one for the lender, and two for the title company that had either been missed or had gone missing. To add to the stress it was close to noon and we couldn’t s get a clear answer on whether or not the selling bank had signed off on the sale. They are on the east coast, time was ticking. Sometime after 2:00 we got word that the sellers had indeed signed off and all of the paperwork was ready to go, and that that we were next in line for the final checking process at Wells Fargo. Finally around 4 something we heard that our title guy had submitted all of our forms and now all we had to wait for was for our forms to be registered. Around 5:15 we got a call from our awesome agent that the keys were ours!!! Time to celebrate right, nope, time to get to work.

From 5:18 until midnight we worked on removing all of the carpet and rotten floor mats (three bedrooms, hallway and living rm), removing the non-working toilet and all of the floor tile from the master bath, removing and cleaning the master bath floor with soy based chemicals and a floor machine, removing carpet tack strips from every foreseeable wall in the entire house and vacuuming, vacuuming, vacuuming. ,

2039

Thursday 10/29/09
Today’s task was to sign a billion and one forms at the title company. The appointment started at 1:00 but of course, like everything else with this house, the appointment didn’t start smoothly. When we arrived to “the signing table” we discovered that some minion at Wells Fargo assumed we wanted the put down the lowest amount possible for our down payment and completed our loan forms wrong by increased our loan by $7,000.00 Thanks but no thanks. Luckily a process that can usually take a few hours took about 20 minutes at which point we singed our lives away, for the next 30 years. 2039 is a rather unattractive number if you ask me.

Quote for the Month of October

"I know its the desert, but I didn't expect it to be this dusty" - guy on the elevator in the building where I work. Fail.

U2

I’m ashamed that its taken me this long, but last Tuesday, October 20, 2009, we had the honor of seeing the Black Eye Peas open for the one and only U2 at Cardinal’s Stadium. Somehow we had the good fortune to get into the “inner circle” which is standing room only between the center stage and the second outer ring. Granted standing from about 5:30 until Midnight became torture on the lower back, the proximity was worth the pain. In addition to being close to both the inner and outer stages we were a little more than an arms reach away from Bono or The Edge when they would walk across the rotating, cross stage bridges. An awesome concert, on a lovely fall day in Arizona, at a stadium with a retractable roof...life is good.

The Black Eyed Peas started the night with a terrific opening act. They sounded great, were high energy, had entertaining random robot dancers, and put on an all around a good show. For many the highlight of the performance may have been Fergie’s gorgeous gams, and who could blame them. I haven’t changed teams or anything but they are damn near perfect if I don’t say so myself!

After a short break to clear out some equipment and the prepping of many a guitar and drum set, Billy Idol’s Major Tom, swooned across the massive speakers. The crowed went wild. I really can’t sum up the concert any other way than it was AWESOME, perhaps even cathartic. U2 put on an amazing show. They had a bit of mic feedback trouble for the first few songs, but despite the equipment hickup, Bono’s voice was beyond perfect, The Edge’s guitar playing was out of this world, Adam Clayton (Bass Guitar) was terrific and the one who started the band, Larry Mullen, Jr., was excellent on the drums.

The set list was as follows: Breathe, Get On Your Boots, Magnificent, Mysterious Ways, Beautiful Day, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - Stand By Me, Stuck In A Moment, No Line On The Horizon, Elevation, In A Little While, Unknown Caller, Until the End of the World, The Unforgettable Fire, City of Blinding Lights, Vertigo - It's Only Rock and Roll, I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight (remix), Sunday Bloody Sunday, MLK, Walk On - You'll Never Walk Alone
Encore(1): One, Amazing Grace, Where the Streets Have No Name
Encore (2): Ultraviolet, With or Without You, Moment of Surrender

I have to admit, I’ve never been much of a U2 follower, in fact I hadn’t even heard their new album before the concert, but this concert has changed my ways. For all those who ever get a chance to see U2, don’t pass it up. The set was exceptional, the music was fantastic and the performance was, possibly best described in language of the Garden State, Fan-f**king-tastic!

Trip to the South Rim

With an anticipated departure time of 7 AM, a single bathroom apartment with 5 occupants is no pleasure cruise. The giddy energy of three out of towners helped to lessen the pain of a 5:50 wake up time, however this sugar-high-esque energy would eventually lead to a cranky crash in a few short hours. Perhaps not all felt this way, but I know myself better, it was inevitable. Promptly at 7 AM we piled in our rented X-terra, aptly name "X" and headed up the road. With a quick stop at Montezuma's castle and only one gas stop in Flagstaff we arrived at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon a little before noon.

Our first stop included absolutely breathtaking views and a reminder of just how extensive the entire canyon is. We could see millions of years of canyon creation in just one small panoramic view and our view was just one tiny, tiny portion of the massive canyon. After some of the many foreign tourists cleared out we tool a few obligatory tourist photos, enjoyed a quick lunch and made a brief tour of the visitor’s center where we decided on a three mile hike that was suggested for visitors with only a few hours to spend in the canyon.

The Cedar Ridge hike was a great choice. I'm not one for heights but there was something about the grandeur of the canyon that took away my fear. The weather was gorgeous, the trail was un-crowded, and the haze was relatively low, basically we couldn't have asked for a better day to hike. On the way down Brian was a bit timid about the thin trail and the shear drop-offs, but he successfully conquered the fear, made the entire trip down, and sped like a bullet on the way back up. Round trip was a 1000 ft descend/climb that included many a photo pause and took a little under two hours to complete.

Following the hike some of the group went to confess their sins while the rest of us sinners stopped by one of the lodge areas for a quick libation. During our hour wait we saw some goats, a couple of javelinas and a nice little sunset over the canyon. I found it a lovely finish to the visit.

Our trip out of the park included a mean combination of low blood sugar, pitch black driving conditions and constant “watch for deer” signs. Why I didn’t pack the Xanax was beyond me. About 45 minutes out of the park, to prevent becoming another Donner party, we stopped at the Cameron Trading Post. The restaurant was the only dinning location within a two hour radius and its heaping portions were a pleasure on the eye and the belly.

Like over watered cacti we loaded back into the car and finally arrived in Page around 10:30. Apologies to those that had to witness a Caetano with low blood sugar. It can be a very scary site and risks the safety of all, and should be avoided at all costs.

Weak Cookie

Part of the joy of the sweetened cardboard commonly refereed to as a fortune cookie is the fortune of course, so imagine my disappointment at this jewel: "The first man gets the oyster, the second man gets the shell." This pathetic fortune officially makes the cookie's empty calories that much more wasteful. I would have preferred some broken English to this sad excuse for a fortune.

Reality Markers

How is it that the holes in a belt can have a direct impact on one's happiness and self definition? Realistically what are they, like a half inch apart? More like a mile. The joy of cinching that belt tighter, making it to that last little hole is a joy too extreme to be expressed, whereas, just as dramatically, the realization that you have to move backwards, a massive half inch back into the shameful previous hole, well, its down right tragic. Its can be the difference between a good start to a day or the aspiration of not eating breakfast, which is rarely never accomplished.

Today, however, has presented a new conundrum. This morning I put on my belt and glared at that final hole. Perhaps with a few dirty looks I could scare it into being accessible. Turns out, the gods were kind. Nice. As the morning went on I realized I had celebrated preemptively. A novice mistake.

Sure my belt seemed to be holding up my pants while I stood upright, but with time, and while seated, I noticed my belt was starting to lose a major battle, the victor of which happened to be my spare tire. Due to the belt setting I was no long able to hike my pants to comfortably smush in the offending excess. Lets just call it an off kilter muffin top. Sides are fine, its that pesky front angle that’s killing me. Sure if I sit perfectly upright with the best posture I can muster it rescinds ever so slightly, but the uncomfortable cutting into my belly remains. Keep in mind the muffin top does not rear its ugly head while standing, so I suppose its not as bad as it could be.
Unfortunately, to avoid spare tire bruising I've relinquished the small and apparently false victory and moved back to the previous belt hole. Yeah, its my own fault, but I'd prefer to keep some blame on the belt. Lets just call it a motivational factor to put down the cookie... ok maybe to put down the third cookie. (its healthy to be realistic)

Celebrate!

My hubby just passed the bar!! Hip hip hooray!!

Oktoberfest - Tempe style

Traveling on Phoenix's glorious light rail train it took us about 15 minutes to arrive at Tempe's version of Oktoberfest. I'm not much of a beer drinker, but "beers of the world" sounded like it might have some potential. Well, it turns out that "beers of the world" really only pertained to beers of the Budweiser world. I'm pretty sure the only non-Bud, remotely world beer, was Red Stripe, a Jamaican lager.

We started off our consumption with a pleasantly disgruntle server who gave us both souvenir cups and beers for the price of one beer without the souvenir cup (14 ticket purchase for only 5 tickets, sweet!) In true carnival style we also enjoyed funnel cake, a soft pretzel, cheesy curly fries and of course, a braut with sourkraut. Delicious. Sure it probably required an iron-man's worth of exercise to even come close to burning that many calories, but hell, ya gotta live your life.

In addition to tasty eats, the fiesta included carnival games and rides, two stages with constant live entertainment and a polka stage, that unfortunately we never saw come to life. These types of events always provide such great people watching opportunities, for better of for worse. As the evening went on I noticed we were far outnumbered by "jorts" (jean shorts). A few times, I even felt as if my simple jean skirt was getting the hairy eye from various jort wearers. Perhaps I haven't been paying enough attention to fashion lately but I would like to hope that the jean skirt still, even if only marginally, trumps the jort.

Another surprising sight was the number of couples, noticeably younger than us, with one if not two kids. I think its great when people take their kids out to various social/cultural events, but perhaps when you take your children to these events you shouldn't both get trashed. Or, just maybe, you should consider their tiny, delicate ear drums when you sit front row of live performance that are far too loud for adult ear drums. Lets get a little responsibility here people and for one second think about the little person you thoughtlessly put in this situation.

Overall our Oktoberfest was a pretty fun experience, and we will surely return again next year. Danke schoen Budweiser for your hosting of Oktoberfest Tempe 2009.